we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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