what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
