Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
