stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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