So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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