I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
