If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
