Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
