I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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