Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Im part way to drunk.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize