Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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