You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
