so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
