I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
