Can i not drive my cunt home
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
