So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your penis caused this!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
