She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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