All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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