I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
