No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
