We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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