This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
