Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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