the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
