im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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