The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize