i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
did i just pee glitter
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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