apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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