JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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