i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
