Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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