Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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