Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
