So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
