Who wears a wallet chain?!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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