Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
