the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
