I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
