she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You left your phone here
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