CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
