Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is classic penis vs brain.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
