just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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