I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
