No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
