It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
