You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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