i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
