they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
