I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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