i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
