We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you had me at cake vodka
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
