Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What a dumb baby whore.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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