Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
