after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
