I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
